Paddy drinking again

Paddy staggered home very late after another night of drinking with friends, Murphy. He took off the shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could on the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body turned and he landed hard on his butt. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket and broke the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Paddy out, pulled down his pants and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He manages to find a full box of Band-Aids and began quietly putting Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning I woke up with searing pain in her head and Paddy and Kathleen butt staring at him from across the room.

She said: "You were drunk again last night are not you?"

Paddy said: "Why say such a thing mean?"

"Well," Kathleen said, "it could open the door, it could be broken glass under the stairs, it could be drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but ..... almost all of the Band-Aids stuck on the glass hall.

T-shirts with Maori tattoo prints

Hi,

It has been a while, but I'm working on a set of T-shirts for a company "Ainofea" in Hawaii.
They asked me to design several t-shirts with my maori inspired tattoos. The shirts will be available from their website soon. Here are a few examples of the tattoo prints I created:


shirt with maori printed tattoos buy for salet-shirts maori design prints buymaori tshirts tattoo prints for sale online shop





















Kind regards, Mark Storm
info@storm3d.com
www.storm3d.om

Silly cat

I felt like drawing cats...  
Well, maybe the dead mouse laying in front of my door and the mysteriously knocked over flowerpot in the living room inspired me. Maybe.



Welcome to the club!

My good buddy BUrns124 just had a short visit to my city. Breaking stones after a night out of hard drinking to get a membership card.
(by the way, sorry for the lame Hipstamatic flix - will post better ones when i am back from my trip to Warsaw...)


Unser bester Mann!

Click to enlarge!

























Fondling in Bed

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening. When the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down pas the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past that side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped rolled over and started to watch the tv.
As she had become quuite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Whey did you stop ? "

He said, "I found the remote".

Technorati claim 9DXDWAJU8K6M

April Fools Prank for Office workers

April Fools Prank

April Fools Prank has always been a way to celebrate April Fools Day, hope you will play well at your office workers ;)

Steven Seagull

Oh yeah!
Steven Seagull is just kicking it right in your privates!
My friends' skateboard company from Hamburg called Cleptomanicx (the one with the seagull logo... Fuck off, Hollister!) just released a series of boxer shorts incolaboration with some other German skateboard brands. One of them is MOB Skateboards for which i have been designing stuff since years. So i was asked to create the pattern design for the MOB boxer short - a classic Fortress idea filled with a bunch of new details. These shorts will be available soon at Rockawaybear.com and also at the MOB and Cleptomaicx store.
Available in S (you!), M, L and XL (me!).



Martha Cooper - Remix @ Carmichael Gallery LA

Martha Cooper - Remix

Photographs by Martha Cooper with original remixes of her photographs in a range of media by Aeon, John Ahearn, Aiko, Bio, Nicer & B-Gee, Blade, Blanco, Mark Bode, Burning Candy, Victor Castillo, Cey, Cekis, Claw, Cosbe, Crash, Dabs & Myla, Anton van Dalen, Daze, Dearraindrop, Jane Dickson, Dr. Revolt, Shepard Fairey, Faust, Flying Fortress, Freedom, Fumakaka, Futura, Gaia, Grotesk, Logan Hicks, How & Nosm, LA II, Lady Pink, Anthony Lister, The London Police, Mare 139, Barry McGee, Nazza Stencil, Nunca, José Parlá, Quik, Lee Quinones, Kenny Scharf, Sharp, Skewville, Chris Stain, Subway Art History, Swoon, T-Kid, Terror161 and more.

April 9 - May 7, 2011

Carmichael Gallery
5795 Washington Blvd
Culver City CA 90232

www.carmichaelgallery.com


Light In The Dark

Cherry blossom

It seems the blog was 1 year old yesterday. I'm the kind of person who forget about a blog 3 months after creating it, so it's rather incredible. :p
Cherry blossom design

Difference of Version 4 and 3Gs

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 3GS to Wife 4.0

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes
that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 4.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies
7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever
selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 4.0 in the background while attempting
to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 3GS , but the 'uninstall'
doesn't work on Wife 4.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"

REPLY

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 3GS to Wife 4.0, thinking that it
is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 4.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 4.0 and to return to Girlfriend
3GS.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the
system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 3GS because Wife 4.0 is designed not
to allow this. (Look in your Wife 4.0 Manual under
Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) ..

I recommend that you keep Wife 4.0 and work on improving the
environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate
software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 4.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep
3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use
these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the
program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the
performance of Wife 4.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install
SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 4.0 and
will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support ...

The Night Flyer

Some more thunderbolts...

Doll

I don't doodle enough characters. Because either they look ugly, either they look too girly for my mind to agree. Or both. Sigh.


Hilarious remakes movie posters










Hilarious remakes of movie posters, i bet they are pretty good ;)

Currency Exchange

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.

Short line...just one person in front of me, an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated.

He asked the teller, "Why it change? ... yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen - today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller says, "Fluctuations."

The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys too!"

Steam Swallow

A friend for last week swallow. Same general shape, but steampunkish.
steampunk swallow tattoo design